Lessons Taught ... Lessons Learned

Lessons Taught, Lessons Learned

It is various lessons in life that we are taught, and that we learn on our own that shape the person that we are. Stopping to think about these lessons gives us a glimpse into the shaping of ourselves as an individual and can put into perspective things lost in our day to day life. So what are these all important lessons?

My parents taught me, "treat others as you would like to be treated". Yes, I begin with something so cliché that many of us brush it off. However, it is spoken of so much, and called the 'golden rule' for a reason. If we as a society could follow this one simple rule, many things would be different. But even for those of us who know this "rule", it takes great effort and thought to follow it. I may not always hold true to the golden rule, but I know that the more that I keep it in my thoughts, the more I will try, and the better person I will be.

My parents taught me that there is a very big difference between being a "woman" and being a "lady". I received this lesson early and often in life and then was given the freedom to choose which I would become, and it has made all the difference in the person that I am today.

My parents taught me the importance of family and how your family is the most precious gift that you will ever receive. Neither time nor distance can take away from the love, memories and experiences that should always be cherished. There is nobody on earth who will be there for you like family will. My family is more precious to me than I can even begin to express and I value every single moment that I am lucky enough to have with them.

My parents taught me values and morals. This is the greatest possible legacy that I could possibly ask for from them. What they have given me in this, is more valuable than any monetary value could possibly describe. These various values and morals are the true foundation of the person that I have become. They taught me about hard work, independence, the difference between right and wrong, respect, courage, and so many others. I would not be the person I am today, had it not been for the guidance, direction and lessons of these priceless gifts from them.

My grandmother has taught me what true strength is. From every aspect of how she has lived her life and brought up her children, to the courage she showed until the day that she left us. My grandmother was the true epitome of strength and the best example of a true lady with unbelievable courage and strength.

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And although these lessons that have been taught to us are very important, sometimes it's the lessons that we have to learn on our own that are the most difficult and heartbreaking.

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I have learned that trust is a double edged sword. When given to you, it is something to hold close to your heart and never betray. It is one of the most heartfelt and true things that a person can entrust you with, and should never be taken lightly. I've also learned that to give your trust to another person is the ultimate vulnerability. You open yourself up to the potential for pain like you could never imagine, and therefore, trust should be given to another person only with great care and thought. I've also learned that even when you do trust, you should always hold some in reserve, and never give your full self.





I have learned that one of the greatest struggles in life is the struggle to be your true self. Too many times, we try to be who and what others want us to be until we get to the point where we lose sight of who we really are. We need to learn to never let another person or situation to allow us to lose sight of who we really are, what we really want in life, or what is truly important to us. A person who truly cares about us will help us in our journey to grow as an individual, and not hinder the person that we are or would like to become.

I have learned that true friendship is a commodity not often found in its purest form. Many people will come in and out of your life, and call themselves your friend. However, you will find, to the sorrow and disappointment in your heart, that many only want something from you, or may only be around when the sun is brightly shining. So, if you find a friend, who accepts you as you are, faults and all; a friends who is there through the rain and fog and ice as well as the sunshine, hold them close to your heart, cherish them, and never let them go. And when you learn the truth of the others, don't let your heart be troubled, only realize what a rare gift true friendship is, and accept that not all "friends" or "friendships" will fit that mold.

I have learned, through much experience and mistakes, to never judge people. The woman who did not say hello to you, or the man who only showed you anger, may have more hurt in their heart than you will ever know. Each of us holds close inside the person who we truly are. And each of us has an image that we have created to portray to the rest of the world, for good or bad. This image may be to hide hurt, anger, fear, or self-doubt, and is not a true indication of the person inside. I have learned to not judge people, and to realize that, somewhere inside, is a person like myself, who I'm certain other people have judged, and that person has feelings, just as I do. By not judging, this allows me to try to take a deeper look at this person, and just perhaps, see the true beauty inside.

I have also learned that you cannot live your life to please others. There will be people in my life who will come to know me, and accept me as I am, and there will be people who may despise me for no reason at all. I have learned to accept the fact that I have no control over this, and therefore I must not live my life with concern about what others might think. To do this will only bring about a feeling of defeat, because it is truly impossible to please all people. To live for the approval of others would only cause you to lose who you truly are inside.

I have learned that you cannot depend on any other person for your own happiness, regardless of who that person might be. You must be strong enough to be able to find happiness within yourself, before you can find happiness with another person. If you depend on another person for your own happiness, you are only setting yourself up for defeat, because it is no other person's responsibility to ensure your happiness. You must live your life in a way that you create the circumstances for your own happiness. Then, if you are lucky enough to find the right person, you can build a relationship based on a healthy happiness between two people, rather than each person being dependent upon the other. The path of dependency leads only to disaster.

I have learned that fear is my greatest enemy. For too long, I have allowed fear to control too many aspects of my life, and it has suffocated the very essence of who I am and who I want to become. This has been my most difficult lesson, and I am still in the process of learning, accepting, believing, and fighting what I believe is my greatest weakness. If I continue to allow fear to control my life, I will lose all that I am.


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So, with courage in my heart, and tears in my eyes, I will find the will inside myself to follow these life lessons and try to become the best "me" that I can be; A "me" that I can respect and will be proud of.

I am humble enough to admit that I am only human, with many faults & failings. However, I know that if I falter, I will pull myself back up again, lift up my head high, and continue to try again.

And although I may not reach my ultimate goal in living each lesson as I have been taught and have learned, by continuing to try, I will become closer to the person that I strive to be.