Christmas – that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance – a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.
Augusta E. Rundel
This Christmas Day, I am a child once again. I have opened my eyes with immediate anticipation in my heart. I know what a busy day it's going to be and I can't help but smile as my heart leaps in joy. I nearly run out my bedroom door to see my mom and dad already making their hectic preparations. I run to them and wrap my arms around them as my voice sings, "Merry Christmas Mom and Dad." I see my two younger brothers quarreling, a task they've learned so well at this age. But I stop them in their tracks with a kiss on the cheek and wish them a Merry Christmas. I giggle as I walk away to see them both in unison, allied at last, wiping my kiss away with their hands.
I begin to get myself ready, as well as to help with what I may, when my mom calls us all to the phone. My Grandfather has called from Mississippi to wish us all a Merry Christmas. I am handed the phone when it is my turn to hear the musical voice that I know so very well.
Grandpa had such a loving and magical way about him - it didn't matter the time or distance, you could feel an outpouring of his love, his heart, his joy - in the musical sound of his voice and laughter. For all my days, that is a song that will never cease to play in my heart.
I can see his smile now, a smile that shone in his eyes and radiated through the hearts of all in the room.
Grandpa poured his love through the telephone, gave us hugs from my aunts, uncle, and grandmother and we all both wished and planned for a reunion soon.
After getting off the phone I rejoined the hectic race to get ready - watching last minute gifts being wrapped, gathering of food, and much more. Once all was loaded in the car, our first stop was to see my Grandma Rita and my mom's brothers and sisters.
I always marveled at their wonderful loving relationship. They were grown ups and yet they always played and lovingly bickered just as my brothers and I did. I can still see my Grandmother shaking her head at their antics, telling them to behave, as the look in her eyes showed such a deep love for them and a great joy in their playfulness and laughter.
I think I could quite possibly write for days about them all and each of their amazing qualities - of my Uncle Gilbert, with such deep and gentle eyes who always made me smile and how I truly wish that I could have known him as an adult. I could talk about the wonderful loving relationship between my mom and her sisters that is still so strong today and that I am so very blessed to know and be a part of.
Even in this very instant of writing, each of their smiles, their voices and laughter run through my heart with the strength of a river creating pathways through all that I am.
After time spent there, although very difficult to leave, it is time to go to my Grandmother Victoria's house, a place that I know will be absolutely filled with noise, so many voices, love and laughter.
Walking into my Grandmother's house for me was always like walking into a real but fairy-tale world, where she was the beautiful and gentle, yet so very strong Princess. Such a big family, but she was the absolute center of all of our hearts and worlds.
It is Christmas Day and the house was filled with parents, children, and grand children. There was barely a place to walk and before you could find a place to sit or stand, a round of wonderful loving hugs would ensue. The adults would sit or stand at the table and we kids would find a place in the corner on the floor to sit and talk and play.
An absolutely amazing choreographed symphony of love, voices and laughter played loudly throughout the entire house. It didn't matter what the conversation was, it didn't matter that us kids would certainly have to be scolded a time or two - or even a dozen - it was a home filled with love and Christmas Spirit. A home and family created, built, and nurtured by the love and strength of one of the most amazing women I have ever known - my Grandmother Victoria.
This is my Christmas gift to myself, the gift of these precious moments to be a child again and to take this nostalgic journey. A gift that I am able to give to myself today because my wonderful and amazing parents and family have blessed me with so very much.
The holidays can be difficult when we think of those we love who are no longer with us. They can be difficult when they are so much quieter than we might be used to or would like.
I have taken a journey to give myself the precious gift of warm memories. Today, I have once again heard my loved ones voices, their laughter, and have seen within my heart the love shining in their eyes.
I can honestly say that this has truly been my most treasured gift ... today and always.
